So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
