Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
im on a boat
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