That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
