I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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