Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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