I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
