I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
