fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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