I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
