I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
