is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
