Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You are the jesus of drinking
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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