i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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