Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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