Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
