can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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