You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
