i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
