your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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