All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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