I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
