listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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