But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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