The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
