well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
