check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
