New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
