I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
two words: eviction party
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
