I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
