Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
