walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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