So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
