Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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