that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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