elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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