you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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