covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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