I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
