you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
