How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
