Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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