You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
