Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
