So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
