mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
