Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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