NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
