if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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