im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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