I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
